Dancing.

Eunbin Kim in Kintsugi  by Eleonora Pennacchini KINTSUGI What is our worth? Who defines it? Our sense of self? Falling I am whole Broken Healing Kintsugi is a Japanese pottery art that puts together broken pieces with gold... More precious Enriched Lived Valuable Even more so than it ever was before... My scars...a part of me My injuries... Part of my body's history. Embodiment Humans & Artists Breakable Frail Yet strong. Embrace me Take your time Trust time Allow the breeze to caress your skin Goosebumps... A sign of response & reaction The body is alive It's healing Give it time! We are worth giving ourselves time. The leaves are blowing Like the seasons everything in life is cyclical I am painting my memories on my body Each fracture line liquid fire... Burning The body manifests itself A cry for attention A caring touch Transformations, imperfections, passing time... These do not define my worth. I dip a paintbrush in a bowl of god... And trace with pride the lines

  Pforzheim, 14th November 2022 I am not broken, I am not to be thrown away, I am not done. My injury doesn't define me, or who I am as a human or artist. I have not yet told all the stories that need to be told... My body wants to heal, I want to heal...and it's healing, I am healing. A dancer is not done when they are injured... A dancer just needs time to heal. Healing takes time... Don't feel rushed. Breathe... It's ok, you don't need answers now. It's ok to be sad and sit with the broken pieces. It's ok to acknowledge the pain. It's ok to acknowledge we all break. It's part of being human.  You are no lesser because of it. We are no lesser than we were before. Our worth has not shrunk.

General recurring elements:  - There seems to be a generalized idea that empathy  +  acknowledging   students are some of the most important things a teacher can do. - Dancers feel like the human  connection is the best thing a teacher can give them. (This was the overall number one thing that stuck with them the most...). - Having  long-term goals is one of the most important things (psychologically) for dance injury management. - Men seem to prefer a  more competitive learning environment than women. When I first approached the book Decolonizing Methodologies , I truly struggled to understand the connection with my work/research/MA...it made no sense to me. But one sentence resonated with me...and that was along the lines of 'understanding our responsibility as a researcher'. We can't go, ask people to share parts of their lives, leave...and expect that nothing has changed in them, and in us. Something DID. I took it as my 'mission', in this fieldwork, to let my

  Pforzheim, 17th September 2022 Upon reading a paragraph on biases in Wolcott's book, I decided to look into biases  a little bit more, as I realized I had no real awareness of them. According to Wolcott, it is important to identify good "biases" (such as careers, personalities, and situations), as they constitute the essential starting  place for our own research. To articulate on that, I can say that I am: 1. A professional dancer researching  the professional and pre-professional dance world, so I cannot really step into the role of the "outsider". 2. I have a very extroverted and empathic personality, which could get me a little more involved in the topic than what is normally expected by a "detached researcher". 3. I am coming out of two injuries, and I have been super lucky to be in somewhat of an "ideal" condition for my injury recovery. I have to be aware that this is not the case for everyone, and that the support I received is NO

  In these past few days, I have been reflecting a lot on the 'system' dance culture is embedded in , and on how it is a whole combination of things that allowed me to fully recover, not just one.  In my questionnaire , I asked dancers what helped them the most in their recovery. I asked for individual things, which I believe  does  have its validity, but upon reflecting more thoroughly on my  personal experiences with injuries, I realized I wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for a  whole  support system.  Doctors : Should have my doctor not so aggressively want me to heal, and get to the source of the problem, I never would have found what I had, and probably wouldn't be dancing anymore.  N.B. please note, this was ONLY possible because of the incredible financial support of my german health insurance.  Physios : You need  to find the right one for you, it's so important! I had terrible  physio experiences on my healing journey. But I finally found an increduì

Dance Injury Management  Coming back from holidays, one realizes that many dancers didn't train...(in a way rightfully ...holidays shouldn't be about work...) but the risk of injuries is high... What to do about that? Despite what they think, and tell one another, dancers don't really feel comfortable  sharing  their predicament with their teachers and directors... As a result of this, teachers and directors navigate the studio virtually 'blind'... For fear, guilt, or embarrassment, dancers don't share if they are struggling with something...so basically, all minor and major injuries are  hidden .  Little tears start to happen. Doctor visits are hidden, and there is an unspoken fear, amongst dancers, that if they talk, they'll be left behind... The weirdest thing is that I've also seen  directors  do the same thing...hiding their injuries from their dancers... The same with teachers... It seems that, no matter the point of the ladder you are at, you are

  Pforzheim, 10th September 2022 I just finished reading Wolcott's Context as an Observer Guide , and I believe it could be the perfect framework for my reflective essay. I hope I can use it. The reason why I am so drawn to it, is that it provides guidelines to highlight PAST-PRESENT & FUTURE contexts (a.k.a. limitations...). They are a blessing in disguise for a research project. They provide structure & guidance... and are the limits through which we learn and grow... Past - How did the existing literature inform and limit me? How did the context in which I am studying (Dance Technique Pedagogy) influence the gaze through which I observe the topic? Present - Practical problems linked to my current predicament. How does the amount of time limit & guide my study? How does my inability to be in three different places at the same time influence the choices I have to make in this research project? Future - How does the awareness, of the formats in which I have to present

  Pforzheim, September 8th 2022   'Learning - in the   broad enculturative sense of coming to understand what one needs to know to be competent in the roles one may expect to fulfill in society [...] is an ongoing process in which each human engages throughout a lifetime. In Brad's case, the direction that process was taking seemed to reflect all too well what he felt society expected of him: Nothing.'  (Wolcott 1994) Wow...this quote shocked me...but it is somewhat true. In a minor way, I feel like I experienced something similar, and I have enough of a grasp of what it means to feel that way to be able to start relating to it. As a dancer in a company, when you feel like no one expects something of you, you feel worthless. You start questioning everything and often make questionable choices to try to fix things (e.g. starving yourself thinking they don't like you because you are too big, or overtraining in your free time because they make you feel like you are not goo

Pforzheim, September 6th 2022 I am thinking of using Wolcott's 'Progressive Focusing' method. It reminds me of Leder's background  vs focused  'body usage' (ecstatic vs recessive body).   How, in doing this MA, am I choosing to acknowledge my body's healthy state? This is something I never thought about before... It has made me reflect on how I tend to put my body too much in the 'background', and this may lead to injuries.  I am working more intellectually  than I ever have in years...however, I feel strangely more aware of how important my body is. I feel like this journey is making me challenge Descartes' body-mind dualism. I am starting to reflect on ways in which I can incorporate this lesson into my teaching practice. How are body and mind supporting one another throughout all aspects of life?