Dancing.

  Pforzheim, 14th November 2022 I am not broken, I am not to be thrown away, I am not done. My injury doesn't define me, or who I am as a human or artist. I have not yet told all the stories that need to be told... My body wants to heal, I want to heal...and it's healing, I am healing. A dancer is not done when they are injured... A dancer just needs time to heal. Healing takes time... Don't feel rushed. Breathe... It's ok, you don't need answers now. It's ok to be sad and sit with the broken pieces. It's ok to acknowledge the pain. It's ok to acknowledge we all break. It's part of being human.  You are no lesser because of it. We are no lesser than we were before. Our worth has not shrunk.

  Pforzheim, 17th September 2022 Upon reading a paragraph on biases in Wolcott's book, I decided to look into biases  a little bit more, as I realized I had no real awareness of them. According to Wolcott, it is important to identify good "biases" (such as careers, personalities, and situations), as they constitute the essential starting  place for our own research. To articulate on that, I can say that I am: 1. A professional dancer researching  the professional and pre-professional dance world, so I cannot really step into the role of the "outsider". 2. I have a very extroverted and empathic personality, which could get me a little more involved in the topic than what is normally expected by a "detached researcher". 3. I am coming out of two injuries, and I have been super lucky to be in somewhat of an "ideal" condition for my injury recovery. I have to be aware that this is not the case for everyone, and that the support I received is NO...

  Pforzheim, September 8th 2022   'Learning - in the   broad enculturative sense of coming to understand what one needs to know to be competent in the roles one may expect to fulfill in society [...] is an ongoing process in which each human engages throughout a lifetime. In Brad's case, the direction that process was taking seemed to reflect all too well what he felt society expected of him: Nothing.'  (Wolcott 1994) Wow...this quote shocked me...but it is somewhat true. In a minor way, I feel like I experienced something similar, and I have enough of a grasp of what it means to feel that way to be able to start relating to it. As a dancer in a company, when you feel like no one expects something of you, you feel worthless. You start questioning everything and often make questionable choices to try to fix things (e.g. starving yourself thinking they don't like you because you are too big, or overtraining in your free time because they make you feel like yo...

Pforzheim, September 5th 2022 I just started reading Wolcott's book... I can't believe I completely forgot to make time for the data analysis...how could I? I MUST make time for that. Maybe I need to cut down on the reading... I don't know... To date, it seems like I am going to go for a more analytic  kind of approach... I am curious to see how things evolve...