Journaling...(15th of September 2022)

 

In these past few days, I have been reflecting a lot on the 'system' dance culture is embedded in, and on how it is a whole combination of things that allowed me to fully recover, not just one. 

In my questionnaire, I asked dancers what helped them the most in their recovery. I asked for individual things, which I believe does have its validity, but upon reflecting more thoroughly on my personal experiences with injuries, I realized I wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for a whole support system. 

Doctors: Should have my doctor not so aggressively want me to heal, and get to the source of the problem, I never would have found what I had, and probably wouldn't be dancing anymore. 

N.B. please note, this was ONLY possible because of the incredible financial support of my german health insurance. 

Physios: You need to find the right one for you, it's so important! I had terrible physio experiences on my healing journey. But I finally found an increduìible one. Should I not have found him, I probably wouldn't have healed... His insight and experience with professional dancers was incredibly helpful. 

Counselors: I was super lucky to have been given free access to one. Maybe I didn't need it, but it was definitely a perk of being a part of a supportive system. 

Teachers/Directors + Recovery time: I have to put these two things together because recovery time wouldn't have been possible if my directors weren't so supportive and understanding. I also have to thank the german theatre system. I didn't risk losing a job because of an injury. I was protected by the system and was incredibly grateful for it. 

This was incredibly helpful also from a psychological point of view. It gave me time to heal and recover in a peaceful state of mind, knowing that my job would be waiting for me.  

Self-care: I was lucky to be able to take very good care of myself (given the aforementioned reasons). I was able to eat healthily, lose the weight that I gained because of the injury, follow the doctor's instructions, and go to physio every day. I also did yoga every day and decided to start this Master's degree.

Having been given the TIME to take care of myself throughout my recovery journey was probably the biggest privilege I had in this situation.

I will admit there was also a "willingness to push through things no matter what"...but I do not see this as a good thing now. Health should come first. 

Support system: Mmmh...funnily enough
this is a yes and no answer for me... YES, because I always felt loved and supported, no matter my predicament...<3. But also NO because sometimes love can push people to be overly protective, and that is not always good. If I were to listen more to the advice I was given by my loved ones, I would probably not be dancing anymore...

Yet, in every instance, I felt super grateful for all the love and support people showed me. 


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